101 things about coco in no particular order

1. artist...ahin
2. favorite hobby: foodtrippin
3. nababakla ako sa pink at bulaklaking damit
4. can't swim
5. dont know how to ride a bike
6. can't cook
7. minimum bathtime is 1 hour
8. often broke
9. kadamay ku ang redhorse sa malulungkot na sandali
10. ocassional smoker
11. malakas ang sex appeal
12. takut sa dilim
13. uncomplicated
14. double jointed
15. loner
16.mababaw ang kaligayahan
17. mababaw ang tulog
18. malaking parte ng buhay ko ang computer
19. mac lover pc user
20. dami damit sa closet pauliulit naman ang sinusuot
21. mahilig sa black na undies
22. tamad maglinis ng kwarto
23. undomisticated
24. tahimik
25. masarap magmahal
26. may topak pag may pms
27. inlove
28. minsan depressed
29. according sa http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv?stat=1 Schizoid: Weak interpersonal skills
Difficulty expressing anger, even when provoked "Loner" mentality; avoidance of social situations Appear to others as remote, aloof, and unengaged Low sexual desire
Unresponsive to praise or criticism daw ako in other words manhid?
30. morena beauty
31. Gemini- doble kara
32. immature
33. ultimate dream boy: Chris Cornell, Johnny Depp
34. bulok ang cellphone
35. frustrated pornstar
36. hindi nag kakape
37. yuckie ang ketchup at mayonaisse
38. killer eyes
39. lagi magulo ang buhok
40. my day is consist of photoshop, illustrator, mozilla safari , ym and itunes
41. hindi ako kikay
42. mahilig sa ARTWORK at PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE na tshirt
43. impatient
44. gusto ko gumawa ng indie film
45. frustrated writer
46. pagawin mu na ku lahat wag mu lang ako pagencodein
47. magaan kasama lulutang ka sa gaan
48. can't sing
49. favorite chocolate: meji black chocolate
50. addict sa pastillas de leche
51. mahina sa math
52. malakas ang kiliti
53. favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla at double dutch
54. sexy
55. favorite lyrics: all in all is all we all are
56. greatest fear: mahulog sa manhole, bumukas ang pinto ng mrt habang umaandar, maging kulay pink ang lahat ng bagay sa kalye ng Manila
57. sungki
58. mahilig sa manggang hilaw
59. distorted ang isip
60. walang alam na sports
61. mahilig mag billiards
62. walang kakuntentuhan sa buhay
63. pinakaayoko: magutom
64. nanglalambot sa dugo
65. sweet
66. openminded
67. honest
68. sensitive
69. worst day of the year: 041407
70. best day of the year: 010807
71. frustrations in lyf: bigger boobs
72. worst feeling: gutom ako at wala akong pera pangbile ng pagkain
73. independent
74. favorite movie: batman begins, pirates of the caribbean,
75. what turns me on? the axe effect. selfconfidence and sex appeal,
76. my night consist of friendster, blogspot occassional beer and telenovelas
77. favorite place on earth: my bed
78. late araw araw
79. relaxed
80. positive thinker
81. galit ako sa: mga nagmemenopause na kliyente, mga makitid ang utak, mga plastic, at sa lahat ng politiko.
82. fave place: cubao is the place to be, marikina shoe expo, saguijo, tapat ng powerbooks o fullybooked hindi sa loob ha, gateway foodcourt, megamall foodcourt, starbucks sa t.morato, Yehey sa metrowalk, cafe agogo, almers sa uste, napoli pizzateria, my room.
83. no 1 sa wishlist ok: be happy, parang jolibee
84. deepest most darket most secret: na addict ako sa meteor garden, princess hours at yung isang tsinenovela sa channel 7
85. addict ako sa mango shake ngayun summer
86. merun akong 2648 song sa itunes ku
87. favorite cartoons: happy tree friends
88. malaki mata ku nung baby ako hanggang ngayun
89. na tibo ako nu highskul
90. pero narealize ko mahilig ako sa lalake
91. simple
92. minsan magulo isip kailangan iumpog sa pader
93. minsan lumilipad ang isip
94. praktikal
95. kung saan ako masaya dun ako
96. minsan walng pakialam sa mundo
97. untiunti nang nagbabago
98. mahal ang sarili
99. open to new experiences
100. in love sa buhay
101. isang araw ginawa ang entry na to

Sundo

Kay tagal kong sinusuyod ang buong mundo
Para hanapin, para hanapin ka
Nilibot ang distrito ng iyong lumbay
Pupulutin, pupulutin ka
Sinusundo kita, sinusundo
Asahan mo
Mula ngayon pag-ibig ko'y sa'yo
Sa akin mo isabit ang pangarap mo
Di kukulangin ang ibibigay
Limutin ang kaba tuluyan kang bumitaw
Kaya manalig, manalig ka
Sinusundo kita, sinusundo
Asahan mo
Mula ngayon pag-ibig ko'y sa'yo...
inaasam ang sandali,
nilibot ang buong mundo maghihintay sayong sundo
Asahan moMula ngayon pag-ibig ko'y sa'yo

Buti pa ang pera may mukha bakit ang mukha walang pera

walng pera mahigit isang bwan na ku walng pera... at kung mamalasin ka nga naman da delay pa ang sweldu ko... anu ba naman yan.. (kamut sa ulo) isang linggo nanaman ako magtatagu sa nanay ku... sa ate ku... sa tatay ku... hay... aliwhin ku nalang sarili ko... pera lang yan hindi pinoproblema yan.

Labor Day

Bakit kaya may araw na tinatawag na Labor Day? Sagisag ba ito ng pagiging empleyadu mu, nag pagbabanat mu ng buto pra kaltasan ka ng san kadumok muk na tax na di mu naman nakikita saa napupunta? Asan ang 1800 na kinakalatas sa sweldu ku bwan bwan? nasa pink na pintura ba yun ng overpass at urinal booth sa kalye?

burn baby burn

isang araw nagising ako at nakita ko na ibang tau na ako
inumpog aku sa pader at nagising sa katotohanan
parang kailan lang wala akong pakialam sa mundo basta masaya aku
akala ku ganun lang kasimple ang buhay
pero hindi pala kailangan ku maintindihan sa napakasakit na karanasan ang realidad ng buhay
na minsan ang isang pagkakamali ay may katumbas na kabayaran
na ang mga simpleng bagay na di mo pinasin at di inukulan ng panahon nung nakaraan ay maniningil sa tamang oras

to do list

Its a sunday again, and as usual walang magawa... this are just some of the things i need to do before april ends...
1. magbayad ng utang- sa di inaasahang pangyayari, nagkautautang ako sa halos lahat ng tao sa paligid ko.. target ko tong bayaran bagu matapus ang april.
2. magpaliit ng tyan- bawal mag coke,magbeer,magiced tea.. tubig nalang.. maglakad nalang parati wag na mag tryk. bawasan ang kanin, bawasan ang cravings sa fastfood,chocolates at iba pang pagkain na kung tawagin nilay junkfood..
3.magtipid- sana may matitipid ako, kasu imposible ito ngayun dahil wala naman akung hawak na pera.. sa susunud na sweldo nalang, magtabi ng 2k sa bangko, magaaply ng atm account, magapply ng loan. Humanap ng maraming racket pang extra money.
4. Mapakabait- sana matupad ku ang lahat ng ito, dahil sinumpa ku magbabagung buhay na aku simula ng nauntug ang ulo ko sa pader..

angels or devils

ayus, emote na emote... magsyota walang magawa sa bahay.

lihim

Ilang gabi ng lumuluha, nagsisisi

Laging lumalapit, umaasang magbabalik

Habang naglalakad, lumilipad ang aking isip

Sa aking panaginip, umaabot hanggang langit

Ngunit pag ika'y lalapit para bang masasaktan

Ayaw mapahiya ngunit di makaiwas

At kapag nandyan at kaharap ay biglang mawawala

Ang gustong sabihinUnti unting nagiging lihim

Kasabay ng luha ko

Gusto ng lumayo sa kanyang mundo

Kahit anong gawin may pumipigil na damdamin

Ngunit pag ika'y lalapit para bang masasaktan

Ayaw mapahiya ngunit di makaiwas

At kapag nandyan at kaharap ay biglang mawawala

Ang gustong sabihin

Unti unting nagiging lihim

Kasabay ng luha ko (sa kanya)

Di na dapat pang ilihim

Aking tunay na damdamin

Takot sana ay tinabi

Kahit na masasaktan nalangOhhh.... ohhh....

Ngunit pag ika'y lalapit para bang masasaktan

Ayaw mapahiya ngunit hdi makaiwas

At kapag nandyan at kaharap ay biglang mawawala

Ang gustong sabihinUnti unting nagiging lihim

Ngunit pag ika'y lalapit para bang masasaktan

Ayaw na marinig na ako'y iyong iiwan

At kapag nandyan at kaharap ay biglang mawawala

Ang gustong sabihinUnti unting nagiging lihim

Kasabay ng luha ko

ang drama ng pagibig..

ang ganda ku pala pag maputi ako

sulat

sobrang bigat sa loob ko nung nangyari. Sobrang manhid ko na ngayun dahil ayoko ko na makaramdam. Kung pwede ku lang burahin yung nangyari sa isip ko buburahin ko sya. Pero gusto ko malaman mu na buo ang loob ko na ituloy sya para sa iyo. Alam ko alam mu yun, bagu tayu nag desisyun alam ko nakita mo yun. Pasensya na kung hindi ko pa kaya, alam ku kung ibang babae yun itutuloy nila. Pero ako, hindi ko alam alam ku kasi na hindi pa aku handa, at kung me paraan para bumawi ako gagawin ko. Hindi ko alam kung papanu na tayu pagkatapos nito, mahal na mahal kita, pero alam ko pareho tayung nasaktan sa nangyari, alam ko kahit pilit natin ibalik sa normal ang lahat nasa mata natin at nasa puso natin yung bigat na naramdaman natin. Sana nga walang bibitaw. Kahit anu pa man mangyari, sana walang sisihan sa huli, sana mas lumalim pa yung nararamdaman natin sa isat isa. Sorry na mahina ang loob ko, sorry na hindi ko pa kaya. Ngayun tatanggapin ko nalang ang epekto ng naging desisyun natin. Pero alam ko na pareho na tayu nagsisimula ng bagung buhay ngayun. Babawi tayu, sana bigyan pa tayu ng pagkakataun.

journey of an artist

Way back in grade school I used to have a collection of my drawings. Stacked inside a plastic bag, drawings in crayons and craypass, pencils and ballpoints in intermediate or grade school paper. Their were tons and tons of it, a thick pile of paper I spent time adding and arranging from the best to the worst. Drawing of various subject, I can’t even remember I don’t know when did I outgrow that hobby and decided to throw those artworks away.

Im sure you’ve been asked “If there’s one thing in life you wish you could change what would be it?” it’s a question I encountered many times, and I would always answer none, or just mention something that will satisfy as an answer. But now I realize if there is something it would be that I wish I had kept those artworks. Because it is art in its most raw and innocent form. I t is the only art that I created purely out of my heart and imagination. I t is something that I can not create again. I would give up anything to draw with out considering the principles of design, to paint with out thinking of the balance of colors, to visualize freely and passionately like a child. I would give up anything to draw again with the eyes of a child. Free.

Freedom is the basic definition of art. It is what defines art. And I worship the artists who embraces that freedom, who through the years remained child like and innocent to still be able to draw so pure. Whose artwork are not corrupt and trendy, who paints for the sake of freedom not money..

After grade school I passed the phase of crayons and ballpoints, come high school. I was introduced to sketchpads and charcoal pencil, to poster colors and watercolors, to art club and competitions, I was introduced to light and shade, to anatomy and perspective… to surrealism and realism, to Van Gough and De Vinci, To Marvel and to Manga and that when I started to lose it . The Freedom.

Slowly as my skills improve my talent slowly deteriorates, but I don’t realize that at that time, just a feeling of restlessness of incompleteness in every artwork I’ve created,

After High school, of course with no other course in mind I entered the College of Fine Arts, where everyone is weird, where everyone is cool, it’s a special world inside its freedom for all of us, but what I didn’t know at that time was I just locked myself behind bars and threw the keys away… for good. And so my knowledge became deeper, and deeper and deeper as the school enlightened. Well that was when I can no longer draw the human body without measurement, I could no longer use any color with its proper complement, I could no longer just draw senselessly, every dash, every line every color must have meaning… art became prison, and I got used to it, until it became a part of me.

After College, as most fine arts graduate who majored in advertising, I became a visualiser, my first two years working I was happy, hungry for experience, my relationship with photoshop, illustrator and freehand begun, my skills in graphic arts expanded and expanded until it became my new medium. I entered the world of advertising, in college they said art and advertising come together, but to me it will never be. As I will quote some artist define advertising as the pornography of art. Of course there is beauty, on the way an art director composes his ad, or a photographer interprets his subject, or an illustrator draws, there will always be beauty in advertising but it will never be called art. Because advertising is Limitations. You basically create to sell. You basically create for the eyes of the others. In every ad you compose there will only be a little part of you and the rest is owned by your company, your client and your target market. At first I was eager to learn, I dreamed of reaching the top.. be an art director, do this accounts win an award, work in this company.. those are my goals, I do not know when did it happen that it was like I woke up in a long sleep and the artist in me lived again. Maybe to many sleepless nights made its toll on me, maybe then I realize to be great in advertising you need to breathe, eat, and live the ads. You need to know the latest trends, you need to be aware of your market, you need to rip out concepts in your gut, concepts that you will wish your creative director will buy, your client will buy. You need to be competitive to survive.you need to super healthy to survive sleepless nights, nicotine overload, you need a dose of supplements to fight stress and stay awake, and keep up with the energy, in the end I found it senseless… in the end I felt that if I continue this path of my career ill be selling my body and soul to the industry, advertising will own me..

So now I’m slowly walking away, advertising is still a part of me because it will be my bread and butter, I am not rich to give it up, but it would be just that it would never be my life, art will be my life. but as I walked away I am hoping to rediscover the inner child in me. To create freely and passionately.. To relive the spark you feel and the excitement… It’s a long journey forward…

silence

unspoken
words,thoughts floating in our heads
barely touching our lips
but it stays
inside us
unspoken reverie
pretension
is our salvation
masking uncertainty
covering loneliness
chaining our desires
despair
we all stand behind a line
unwilling to speak
unwilling to cross
the truth
that has been killing us
tearing us apart
we bleed in our silence
silent words slicing in our hearts
we bleed inside
and slowly we slip away

silence

teenage angel - addict

She's in love but she doesn't know what she needs or how to let go.
It feels like being married, she was to young to miscarry
She says "bye bye my childhood dream man
I will keep in touch if i can spend the best years of my life with you !"
Happens every time
you start to lose yourself
You turn to blame the one that loves you the most
To stay and work it out is harder than to run away
So she leaves a note because to his face she couldn't say
"bye bye my teenage angel
I don't know how the spell was broken
I don't know what i'm doing but i'll miss you."

Puso

scars paparoach

I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home

Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?

Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourselfI can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

angels or devils dishwalla

this is the last time that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall into a place that fails us all - inside
I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time it will take time
the angels they burn inside for us are we ever are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us are we ever gonna come back down
come aroundI 'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
this is the last time that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see still
I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time
the angels they burn inside for us are we ever are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us
if I was to give in - give it up-
and then take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

anino

Umiiyak ka nanaman
magisa pa rin
ilang beses mu na ba sinabi sa sarili mo
na magisa kalang talaga
wala ka aasahan kundi ikaw lang at ang anino mo.
Kaya mu yan
matagal ka naman nang ganyan
wala nang pinagbago
habang tumatagal lalo ka tumatatag
di mu na kailangan ng ibang tao
para pasayahin ka
dahil alam mo
buhay mu lang yan
may mga darating sa buhay mu
pero kahit gaanu sila napalapit sa yu
lagi mu tatandaan
magisa ka parin
kaya mahalin mo sarili mo
para sa susunud na sasamahan mu uli sa pagiyak ang anino mo
kayang kaya mo sya saluhin